…Don’t panic…

Plot twist! New year! Already?!? WTH???

It happens every year and yet every year it seems to happen out of nowhere. Its that arbitrary day that we have all agreed symbolizes all our hopes and dreams of starting over… And every year I get super excited about it. Not about the NYE party – super introvert over here- but about all the possibilities that it can bring. I also get super sad about it. All the lost chances and time from the previous year that was spent on worrying or loading the dishwasher. Time that isn’t coming back.

This year seemed to fly by especially fast. Last year I was in complete panic mode about the boy applying to college and us paying for college. Now he is in college and things are somewhat quieter on the home front. And it is time to start thinking about me, me, me… just kidding of course, I still have two large, needy rescue dogs that will not allow that, but I can start thinking about next steps and exciting changes. And hopefully not be too sad about what was lost.

If you read my last post (from long ago) I am going to move. New house. New ‘hood. I haven’t made a decision on either of those things yet, but I have started packing and I started to organize my genealogy files. I wish I could say that I did a color coded filing and naming system, but I didn’t. I did get different main branches into bins of different colors and I did label the folders. I did get a large number of photos labeled (Yay!) but they are still not on archival paper. Always more to do later, but I feel somewhat better about the mounds of paper that I inherited. And having a real home office is on my list of new home must haves. It is almost number one but large backyard (did I mention the dogs?) came in first place. I also finally made it to the Henry County Archives to do some local research. Found some interesting documents and hints, but I haven’t processed any of that information yet.

But as I drove through my rural homeland, I realized that my house hunt is being driven by a need a recreate an idea of a ‘home place’. The featured image here is the Lax home place on Rabbit Creek Road. I’ve lived in lots of different types of housing but I never felt like any of them were my exact spot. I know home is where the heart is, wherever your family is, blah, blah, other familiar tropes. But home is also where you unpack all your literal and figurative stuff and invest your time in making it fit you and your needs. Not sure I ever felt completely unpacked anywhere if that makes sense. Not saying that I won’t move again from wherever I end up, but I would like to feel more settled. As children I think we all felt more confident about our place in the world when we had a set place that felt like it was ours. And it wasn’t the house but the place on the map that did that. The sense that we belonged there and to that community. I am not sure that is a feeling you can ever get back, but it does feel like something to strive for in the new year.

1 Comment

  1. Anonymous December 31, 2017 at 11:32 am

    Put your roots down! Ha! Love you sister ❤️.


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